Am I going mad

So its 10:45pm and I have an early start on a stroke ward as an occupational therapist. I planned to go to bed at 9pm and once I read a few pages from the book I am currently reading ‘The subtle art of not giving a f***. – It’s an amazing book. I fall asleep whilst reading (not saying the book is boring). I wake at 10:00pm tossing and turning. I go on my instagram to check a recent post to see if I have any likes. I gained 3 in 4hrs … now I am disappointed as I feel my post didn’t reach or inspire anyone. I try to fall asleep again… No luck. I lay there thinking will I ever succeed as a life coach … am I setting my bars too high. Shall I just FORCE myself to forget it all and settle for a career, that although is an amazing one and changes people’s lives, is not where my heart wants to rest. I then begin to scroll for inspiration on my newly … under reconstruction life coaching page (cause social media solves all problems!) I came across a post from a entrepreneur that I love….. he explains that if I don’t jump into my desired journey now ( as I am 34 years old) next thing I will be 60 and be miserable for the rest of my remaining life. At this point I am close to tears as he also goes on to explain that people at this age may have kids and need to have the ability to ask their spouse for support to pursue their goal. My spouse has his own goal, I feel I have made some sacrifices to support him, so what happens now, I abandon my kids and we both live to pursue our goals, life is bloody complicated.

This is the whirlpool the majority of society are under, its hard work. However, hard work should have an end goal. We all desire for a life of luxury and happiness. But for those of us who have lived a life already and only now decide to fulfill our aspirations…. After gaining debt and children find it hard to step out of that oh so cozy comfort zone. But we must. If we know what we want we need to go get it.

This was me a few years ago, just writing, whenever I felt the need to express myself. I will be posting more flash backs following the above as it shows where my mind was and how far it has come. I will say I pursued my goal and I am continuing my mission to change lives as a life coach and as an Occupational Therapist.